May 2013
2 tags
‎*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
May 25th
105,973 notes
9 tags
May 24th
783 notes
8 tags
May 24th
11,100 notes
6 tags
May 24th
971 notes
2 tags
May 24th
386 notes
4 tags
May 24th
967 notes
4 tags
May 24th
149 notes
3 tags
May 24th
6,031 notes
7 tags
May 24th
1,685 notes
5 tags
May 24th
3,161 notes
3 tags
May 24th
458 notes
3 tags
May 24th
978 notes
2 tags
May 23rd
168 notes
3 tags
May 23rd
124,722 notes
2 tags
May 23rd
73,024 notes
3 tags
May 23rd
1,773 notes
2 tags
jpierrepontcriss: my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
May 23rd
58,347 notes
4 tags
May 23rd
102,669 notes
5 tags
Gif, also known as Jif →
However you pronounce these animated clips they still make us giggle. Or should that be jiggle?
May 23rd
1 note
4 tags
May 23rd
18 notes
8 tags
May 23rd
819 notes
3 tags
WatchWatch
paralysedbeaver: The final Stefon sketch from Saturday Night Live.
May 23rd
9,687 notes
5 tags
May 23rd
581 notes
4 tags
May 22nd
783 notes
4 tags
May 22nd
36,694 notes
2 tags
May 22nd
90,614 notes
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May 22nd
94,393 notes
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May 22nd
56,478 notes
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May 22nd
1,248 notes
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May 22nd
400 notes
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May 22nd
223 notes
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May 22nd
27,846 notes
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May 22nd
180 notes
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May 21st
620 notes
9 tags
May 21st
4,827 notes
4 tags
May 21st
25,840 notes
6 tags
May 21st
633 notes
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May 21st
69,173 notes
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May 21st
72 notes
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May 21st
27,032 notes
2 tags
May 21st
6,165 notes
4 tags
May 21st
192,827 notes
4 tags
May 21st
13,408 notes
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May 20th
907 notes
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May 20th
1,798 notes
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May 20th
55,720 notes
4 tags
May 20th
903 notes
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May 20th
138 notes
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May 20th
32,631 notes
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May 20th
998 notes